Why?

I went to visit Jason yesterday, and his spirits were a little low. He said he just wanted to go home. Of course, he knows he can't but he just feels so sick. His sweet little wife kept reminding him he had to stay so he could get better so they could go home. I want to question God so bad, as to why this had to happen. Even though I know I shouldn't.

Jason and Lindsey are so young and they have three precious little boys. I know God is in control and I know things could be worse. Jason is a special person to me and always has been. He is such a funny person. When Jason is around there is always laughter. He really enjoys comparing people to animals. We use to sit in church and he would whisper in my ear, don't so and so look like a rooster, or a ardvark, or a possuum. It took everthing I had in me not to burst out laughing. Yea, when Jason is around it was always a good time. He enjoys the simple things in life.

As his body weakens it scares him. Which is understandable.. He has shown so much strength already.. There has been an out pouring of support from his family and friends. It has restored my faith in mankind. So many people get involved in there own lifes that they forget the person next to them that is hurting. This disease has affected there who family. It has drawn them closer. Lindsey and Jason have a great family (on both sides). They have really supported them
so much. There church families have gotten behind them and shown them so much love and compassion.

I AM CERTAIN GREAT THINGS WILL COME FROM THIS. I HATE JASON HAS TO SUFFER FOR IT, BUT BRIGHTER DAYS ARE AHEAD FOR HIM....

Please pray for this family. Pray for strength and courage. Pray for the families as they travel back and forth to the hospital. Pray for his care-takers, nurses and Doctors.

Jason!!! My friend needs your prayers

Please pray for Jason. It has really hit him what lies ahead and his spirits need lifting. I would like for you to pray for his entire family. Go check out his caring-bridge story and leave him a comment. He reads them daily.

Just click on the title and it will take you to his caringbridge story

Things change quickly

I am still in shock at the news that I heard yesterday. I wish I could wake up and find out this is all a dream. I have questions that don't have answers. I don't understand things. The only thing I know for sure is that God is in control. For some reason he chose Jason to go through this valley. He is only 25 years old and he has 3 small children.

God has shown me so many times how quickly things can change, and I must say he knows what he is doing. He don't make mistakes. I just pray Jason realizes that... I know it is hard for a 25 year old to have that much faith. Because I am 43 years old and my faith grows daily. I do know at the age of 25 I don't think I could have went through what Jason is facing. I know he is a strong person, but I also know he is human and he don't understand all that is going on and he is scared.

Please just pray for him!! Pray that the right people will say the right words to him to encourage him, to make him feel he can do this.. Pray for angels to surrond him.. Pray for strength, pray for his mother, and his wife and there three young boys..

Where has the time gone!!

I really did not realize that it had been such a long time since I had posted. I said to myself when I started this blog I would not neglect it. Ooops..... I have really not had the time to update it though... With me working 60-70 hours a week it seems I only have time to work and sleep. Which is basically all that I do anymore.
I started the part-time job in November. I had so much idle time on my hands that I figured it would do me some good. Boy, has it helped me mentally. I never told anyone how depressed I was and if anyone was around me they would have known it,, I was losing weight and I had lost interest in everything. I avoided seeing people so they would not know.. I almost gave into the depression.. The words of my mom kept coming in my mind. She always told me and my sisters that everyone gets depressed and sad.. But you cannot give into it.. You have to make yourself go and do.. I tried to.. It took every ounce of energy for me to work my 8 hours everyday. I would come home and go straight to bed or pile up on the couch.. Most weekends I did not leave the house.
The part-time job has become my therapy. It has been so good for me, the extra money comes in handy too. I have not used a charge card for anything in almost a year. I am so proud of myself. If I want something, I just save until I am able to purchase it. It has worked so far..Shopping use to be my therapy.. Buying clothes would do it every time. I had to stop.. I had way too much..
I feel like my life is finally settling down a bit.. Lindsey is doing great in school.. Erica just graduated from Cosmotology... My girls have made me very proud.
We (my sisters and I) are in the process of cleaning down at my moms. We started this past week. We have started outside in my dads storage buildings. I think he had 15 of them (LOL).
As we pick up something it reminds us of Todd, Daddy, or Mama. We pick it up, tell a little story and sort it into one of the many piles. Oh how I miss them.
The eye opener of there deaths is that life is too short. Before, having things meant something to me.. But when you leave this earth you cannot take things with you.. It is all left behind.. It is not about who has the biggest and best house.. It is not about who has the best car/truck/boat, etc.. It is about the legacy you leave behind.. God will not judge us for the "things" we had. However I do believe God looks down on those who try to put on a show, and want people to think they have money... Make them think they have the best of everything.. God wants the best heart. That is what he is concerned about..
Nope, I could leave here today and walk away from every possesion I have and not miss a one of them.. It is the people in our lives that matter, the people who's lives we touch and bless..

Okay, I think I have pondered enough and I have a thousand thoughts in my mind.. I am so thankful i am not a plastic person... I am so thankful I am real, and that my life is not perfect, and I am thankful people know my life is not perfect.. I need God... Do you?

Survivor Gabon

I was so excited that survivor was finaly coming back on. Since the weather has gotten a little cooler it is easier to sit and watch televesion. Of course that is, if I can stay awake...

Here is a run down just incase you did not get to watch it.

Michelle is voted out in the first episode. Gillian is voted out in the second. The 2 teams are named “Kota” and “Fang”, pronounced “fong”. Fang pretty much sucks. They lost the first 3 challenges and the first two members.

Now that the teams are selected, it’s time for the first challenge. There are two individual immunity idols at the top of the hill, a bag of rice, and an extra bag of corn and beans (the first tribe across will get this). GC and Marcus rush ahead and get individual immunity. Michelle, the last one picked, is the first woman across (and not happy with her new tribe). Try as he might, Matty can’t push (literally) his tribe fast enough, and Kota wins the challenge and the extra food. It’s not even close, and Fang looks in trouble when it comes to physical challenges. Their first three picks (Gillian, Crystal, and Susie) were not the way to build a good strong team in that respect.

Following an abysmal job of constructing a tribe in Survivor: Gabon Episode 1, the lackluster Fang tribe got beat badly in both challenges, and then foolishly decided to vote out Michelle, a negative but relatively strong part of the tribe.
Marcus and Charlie have a strong bond, but Marcus would like to add some additional players to the fold, so they’re looking toward the women.
GC’s growing into his leadership role, but Randy hopes to sabotage him and let the tribe self destruct, as if that will take a lot.
Marcus approaches Corinne to see where she’s at. She likes Jacque, and he was already thinking about that. She’d like to be in an alliance with them and Charlie. They all gather together to discuss their strategy, including who should be the fifth (lesser) partner.
GC was awakened early by all the snoring. He decides to do laundry, then a few people join in. Gillian lets him and the others know she doesn’t want to hear them talking that early in the morning. GC (Golden Child) hands over his leadership because he doesn’t want to be the leader any more. Nobody else wants to be the leader (still). Dan tells the camera he’d like to be the leader, as long as he’s a silent leader and nobody knows about it.

Sad to say.. But I fell asleep. But do you have a favorite yet?

Edible Playdough

I found this recipe and I thought how cool is this. I have not tried it, cause I don't have any little ones around the house anymore. Of course, I'm thinking you do want to make sure your little one has clean hands while playing with this, lets just figure some will go in the mouth. give it a try and let me know....

EDIBLE PEANUT BUTTER PLAYDOUGH

2 1/2 c. peanut butter
1/4 c. honey
1 1/2 c. powdered milk



Mix well with hands or spoon in bowl. Add powdered milk until dough is workable and not too sticky. Kids love making this and then creating faces, snakes and shapes with it. Decorate with raisins, nuts or candy, if desired. Then eat!

My Altima

My 02 Altima that I owe approx. $1000.00 on and it will be paid for. Well, it is about to quit on me. It figures though. Just when you think you are gonna be set and not have a car payment you find out that your car needs some major work. Like replacing the motor. I have several people looking for a motor and thus far 3 have been found. But the thing is, it will cost me 1800 for a motor. That is not including the labor to put the motor in..

If it could only last me a few more months then I could save for the 1800.00 and not have to borrow the money.. I found out through a friend of a friend that the Altima motors are just not any good. That was really reassuring.. LOL... I'm planning on borrowing the money from my 401K and getting the motor put in.. I just hope it will last me a good 5 years. Did I mention that the car uses about 5 quarts of oil a week, it cuts off at red-lights, stop signs, the drive-thrus, and just about anywhere when I take my foot off the gas to stop. So I have learned to drive with two feet. That is one foot on the brake and one foot on the gas. It is a technique, you know...LOL


Last Friday when I took LuLu to school, of course it cut off on me when I dropped her off, the two boys were standing there and they started laughing at me.. uuuurrrrrrgggghhhh. It made me so mad, I wanted to jump out of my car and ask these punks where there car was... Then I got a grip and just started my car and was on my merry way.. It is really nerve racking driving two footed.. You have to know exactly when to press the gas pedal harder than you press the break pedal. Which if not done at the right time could either send you into a building or worse into a stopped car in front of you..LOL...

Hopefully I will have my car running good in a few more weeks. I am hoping that one of the friends I have looking, will find a cheaper priced motor. Until then, if you see me behind you at a stop sign or traffic light.. MOVE OUT OF MY WAY....