I really did not realize that it had been such a long time since I had posted. I said to myself when I started this blog I would not neglect it. Ooops..... I have really not had the time to update it though... With me working 60-70 hours a week it seems I only have time to work and sleep. Which is basically all that I do anymore.
I started the part-time job in November. I had so much idle time on my hands that I figured it would do me some good. Boy, has it helped me mentally. I never told anyone how depressed I was and if anyone was around me they would have known it,, I was losing weight and I had lost interest in everything. I avoided seeing people so they would not know.. I almost gave into the depression.. The words of my mom kept coming in my mind. She always told me and my sisters that everyone gets depressed and sad.. But you cannot give into it.. You have to make yourself go and do.. I tried to.. It took every ounce of energy for me to work my 8 hours everyday. I would come home and go straight to bed or pile up on the couch.. Most weekends I did not leave the house.
The part-time job has become my therapy. It has been so good for me, the extra money comes in handy too. I have not used a charge card for anything in almost a year. I am so proud of myself. If I want something, I just save until I am able to purchase it. It has worked so far..Shopping use to be my therapy.. Buying clothes would do it every time. I had to stop.. I had way too much..
I feel like my life is finally settling down a bit.. Lindsey is doing great in school.. Erica just graduated from Cosmotology... My girls have made me very proud.
We (my sisters and I) are in the process of cleaning down at my moms. We started this past week. We have started outside in my dads storage buildings. I think he had 15 of them (LOL).
As we pick up something it reminds us of Todd, Daddy, or Mama. We pick it up, tell a little story and sort it into one of the many piles. Oh how I miss them.
The eye opener of there deaths is that life is too short. Before, having things meant something to me.. But when you leave this earth you cannot take things with you.. It is all left behind.. It is not about who has the biggest and best house.. It is not about who has the best car/truck/boat, etc.. It is about the legacy you leave behind.. God will not judge us for the "things" we had. However I do believe God looks down on those who try to put on a show, and want people to think they have money... Make them think they have the best of everything.. God wants the best heart. That is what he is concerned about..
Nope, I could leave here today and walk away from every possesion I have and not miss a one of them.. It is the people in our lives that matter, the people who's lives we touch and bless..
Okay, I think I have pondered enough and I have a thousand thoughts in my mind.. I am so thankful i am not a plastic person... I am so thankful I am real, and that my life is not perfect, and I am thankful people know my life is not perfect.. I need God... Do you?
